Ways to be like my favorite bloggers

  • Where jeans that are mysteriously momish and sexy. Do not spell wear wrong
  • Wear thick glasses
  • Decorate apartment with a mix of ABC Home ($$$$$) and sidewalk, but mysteriously do not get bed bugs
  • Make sure said apartment has no wires or even outlets
  • Meditate
  • Read books with gorgeous & on trend covers instead of just looking at them “ooooh prettyyy”
  • Allude to eating cake for “dins” but maintain svelte figure
  • Use words like svelte
  • Also being super good at writing and courageously honest and maybe a stellar artist blah blah
Advertisements

Things that would make me happy/productive/healthy if I just freakin did them but I will not cause I don’t wanna

  • Drinking more (any) water
  • Waking up when alarm goes off
  • Showering regularly
  • Chilling on The Office marathon frequency (daily)
  • Not looking at phone so often
  • Clicking on the IKEA inspiration or Apartment Therapy websites even though I looked at them in entirety 43 seconds ago

So easy, and yet so far away.

Headlines I fall for

  • How to emulate a French woman
  • How to hack your small space rental
  • You won’t believe how affordable these X are
  • Find your work uniform
  • How to be a morning person
  • Healthy, cheap single pot meals with 5 ingredients or less
  • What X successful person does before 8am
  • How to be productive

If you are an article with one of these headings, I will read you. #MillennialBait #ISeeYou

Gorgeous amazing stuff that will make your life easier/better/more insta-worthy!

GOTCHA.

For the many times this sort of headline entices me & you, here are some alternative activities… #officeversion

  • Search for volunteer opportunities
  • Take a walk
  • Call a buddy
  • Drink coffee but savor that sh*t
  • Read a blog (recommendations to come)
  • Meditate
  • Drink a tall glass of water
  • Doodle
  • Make a to do list
  • Organize your shoe drawer (/snack drawer/paperclip bowl/etc.)
  • Poke your head into a colleague’s cubicle

Then get back to work, dangit!

Ode to receptionist

You say hello to me every morning with a smile

Then, you forget that you’ve greeted me and do so again

You ask me about my weekend

You feign thanks for micromanagement

You tell me when free food’s around

You pull reports with a smile

Answer phones

Answer doors

Emails

With a smile

If we were all half as kind, half as positive,

We would be twice

As happy, productive, kind.

Product review: Glossier

Eventually, 12,000 subway ads will get to you. I visited the Glossier showroom (Canal and Lafayette) last week and am sold. The support staff are extremely friendly and exceptionally beautiful. One can only assume their natural beauty is enhanced by Glossier, right? Yes, I am a gullible consumer.

I purchased: the infamous boy brow, concealer, what is essentially BB cream, and a lip stain that cost very little when bundled with other items. While I’m concerned the “boy brow” color (brown) may be a bit severe (thanks, dad, for telling me the color was too severe), and touch-ups are required once or twice during the day, I am overall very happy with my purchase. Items offer light, natural looking coverage, my dry skin is moistened, and the colors are beautiful. And the price ain’t bad either.